After Abduction: Letter To My Daughter When She Demanded She Have Her Tongue Pierced, After She Had Illegal Piercing When She Left Our Home.
June 23, 2005
Dear Kristy,
I thought that a letter would better explain my feelings about the conversation that just took place about the tongue piercing. I told you that I would think about it, and I did, and when I gave you the reasons, you just wanted to hang up.
The tongue piercing has nothing to do with wanting to get to know you as you, or you wanting to get to know me as me. I have not seen you except for eleven minutes since December, and if I went with you to get your tongue pierced, I was allowed a visitation with you. I felt manipulated. If I said yes, you would be my buddy. If I said no, I will never see you. This is how I laid out my decision. These were my thoughts when I took the time to decide because I love you. I really did think of letting you do it, but I had to stand by my own belief’s, and make the proper decision which I as your mother felt was best. I don’t want a dishonest relationship with you. If my decisions happen to make you angry, I don’t want to be abused by you for standing up for my own beliefs. That was what happened in the past. By writing this letter to you, and going by the decision of my own heart, I believe that is best for our relationship. I set boundaries now. Sometimes love is tough love. One day when you have your own child, you will understand that. I put the reasons for letting you get it done first that I thought about, and the no reasons second. Like I said, no matter how hard the truth is. The truth is the truth, and one thing that you do know about me, is that I live by truth and honesty. For me to against my own belief I can’t do. What you choose to do with my decision is your own free will. I love you still the very same. I really do love you. I think that you may see that when I am finished with the yes and no list.
Tongue Piercing
Yes:
I would get to see you, and that I wanted very much. So much that I was willing to compromise all things that I saw right.
I wanted you to have what you wanted, so you knew that I accepted you unconditionally.
If I let you do this, I hoped that you may have really have wanted to come home.
No:
I felt that I would again have no say so in our relationship if I said yes.
It was a power play.
I really hate tongue rings.
I was worried about infection even if it was done right. I talked with several people in the past who had it done, and two regretted it, and two liked it. So, I thought about what my own tongue getting pierced with both sides of the story, and how I would feel to make my decision, and I came up with no.
I thought about the lies, the deceit, and the perjury, that you have committed, and what we have truly gone through because of it. You are not even sorry, nor are you willing to admit what you and others have done. To know me, is to know what we have been through because of it if you are going to use manipulative techniques to get something done that you want.
The lies, the deceit, and the perjury, was so bold that I still believe that you have been threatened by people in positions of power, and that if you do admit to everything, you were threatened that something would happen to someone close to you. Because of the threats, the drive by shooting attempt, and other things that I know to be hard cold facts, I couldn’t say yes if the truth had not come out.
I believe that it is a manipulation done with the aide of an educated Social Worker to make me look unreasonable in the eyes of the court again, when I am not unreasonable.
If I had said yes, I would end up being manipulated into a life of lies, and I would have to everything that you demanded. The officials would have won.
No matter how safe and happy I hear you say you are. I believe that you are not. I believe that you have been forced to behave this way. There is no changing my mind because of hard cold facts that I am aware of.
I believe that instead of sticking with the plan of just a hug, or a movie, and being slapped in the face with a decision like this, and me even having to talk about these things because I didn’t want to, and my having to defend my reasons. This was another attempt by you and Social Workers and all of the others involved to make me react unreasonably because you are so close to my heart. If you were not close to my heart, I would have never stayed in Oroville while I put up with death threats and proven attempts, and the deaths of some people I know because of the original lies, deceit, and manipulation. To let you have the tongue ring would be dishonoring my friend’s lives that have been lost, and the torture and threats that they have gone through because they stood up for the truth also. This was the biggest factor in my decision. Like I said, there is a lot that you don’t know about, and shouldn’t have to know about. The arrangement to ask for a tongue ring, and not just a hug or a movie, I consider direct child abuse to you by those in authority because I am forced to talk about this with you now instead of in a therapy situation.
This piercing is a felony in the State of California. I have to agree with the law because to make a decision at your age that is permanent and disfiguring, you may regret when you go through some known mental changes that will happen with you in the next couple of years. You are you now, but two years from now, you may be very different. I do not want to be a part of your possible regrets in the future.
I believe that you are mentally ill, and to make such a decision while I believe that you are mentally ill, I cannot abide by and say yes.
In conclusion, I have more reasons on the no side of my list than I do on the yes side of my list, and I had to go with a rational thought out decision. I could not go only with my intense desire and want to give you what you want, so my dear child would want to come home, and I could hold you in my arms again. If I had said yes, and you did come home, our relationship would have been the same. I am looking for change in our relationship. Only honesty and truth can abide in a real relationship. It is a court order that I listen to your allegations that I know for a fact are fabricated. Don’t you think that it is your turn to listen to the feelings of your mother, and the facts of what your lies, deceit, and manipulations have put me through? To not have you tell the truth about your actions, I believe is child abuse. It is not making you a viable member of Society, and for me, I remember your values that were sometimes better than my own. Where did those values go when this is continued? I believe that it allows people to be perpetrated against. This means I love you for you. What other parents would want their child home after what you and others have done? I will not hold it against you, and I really do want to drop the past, but you will have to know that the events that have taken place in our lives will forever be engraved in my heart. I just want you home, and I just want to have some good times together Kristy. You asking me to get your tongue pierced under these circumstances is as ridiculous as my expecting you to tell the truth at this moment because of some of the factors I listed above in my no answers.
Now that the nasty part is over, here are some of my goals in my own life, and things that are going on with me.
I have a job as a reporter, and I am excited.
I have several close friends that are true friends. I can’t ever be thankful enough for them being in my life.
I now have documentation about my physical health, and the help I will receive because of that. That is the greatest event.
I have plans in the future of writing, and art that have now come into the realm of not just a dream. I am so looking forward to creating, and of you being a part of that.
I enjoy every moment that I look at dovey wovey, and the reasons you gave her to me, and smile.
Lets plan to go to a movie, or just get a hug from each other like we planned before. Let me know. I love you dearly with all of my heart.
Love, Mom
Dear Kristy,
I thought that a letter would better explain my feelings about the conversation that just took place about the tongue piercing. I told you that I would think about it, and I did, and when I gave you the reasons, you just wanted to hang up.
The tongue piercing has nothing to do with wanting to get to know you as you, or you wanting to get to know me as me. I have not seen you except for eleven minutes since December, and if I went with you to get your tongue pierced, I was allowed a visitation with you. I felt manipulated. If I said yes, you would be my buddy. If I said no, I will never see you. This is how I laid out my decision. These were my thoughts when I took the time to decide because I love you. I really did think of letting you do it, but I had to stand by my own belief’s, and make the proper decision which I as your mother felt was best. I don’t want a dishonest relationship with you. If my decisions happen to make you angry, I don’t want to be abused by you for standing up for my own beliefs. That was what happened in the past. By writing this letter to you, and going by the decision of my own heart, I believe that is best for our relationship. I set boundaries now. Sometimes love is tough love. One day when you have your own child, you will understand that. I put the reasons for letting you get it done first that I thought about, and the no reasons second. Like I said, no matter how hard the truth is. The truth is the truth, and one thing that you do know about me, is that I live by truth and honesty. For me to against my own belief I can’t do. What you choose to do with my decision is your own free will. I love you still the very same. I really do love you. I think that you may see that when I am finished with the yes and no list.
Tongue Piercing
Yes:
I would get to see you, and that I wanted very much. So much that I was willing to compromise all things that I saw right.
I wanted you to have what you wanted, so you knew that I accepted you unconditionally.
If I let you do this, I hoped that you may have really have wanted to come home.
No:
I felt that I would again have no say so in our relationship if I said yes.
It was a power play.
I really hate tongue rings.
I was worried about infection even if it was done right. I talked with several people in the past who had it done, and two regretted it, and two liked it. So, I thought about what my own tongue getting pierced with both sides of the story, and how I would feel to make my decision, and I came up with no.
I thought about the lies, the deceit, and the perjury, that you have committed, and what we have truly gone through because of it. You are not even sorry, nor are you willing to admit what you and others have done. To know me, is to know what we have been through because of it if you are going to use manipulative techniques to get something done that you want.
The lies, the deceit, and the perjury, was so bold that I still believe that you have been threatened by people in positions of power, and that if you do admit to everything, you were threatened that something would happen to someone close to you. Because of the threats, the drive by shooting attempt, and other things that I know to be hard cold facts, I couldn’t say yes if the truth had not come out.
I believe that it is a manipulation done with the aide of an educated Social Worker to make me look unreasonable in the eyes of the court again, when I am not unreasonable.
If I had said yes, I would end up being manipulated into a life of lies, and I would have to everything that you demanded. The officials would have won.
No matter how safe and happy I hear you say you are. I believe that you are not. I believe that you have been forced to behave this way. There is no changing my mind because of hard cold facts that I am aware of.
I believe that instead of sticking with the plan of just a hug, or a movie, and being slapped in the face with a decision like this, and me even having to talk about these things because I didn’t want to, and my having to defend my reasons. This was another attempt by you and Social Workers and all of the others involved to make me react unreasonably because you are so close to my heart. If you were not close to my heart, I would have never stayed in Oroville while I put up with death threats and proven attempts, and the deaths of some people I know because of the original lies, deceit, and manipulation. To let you have the tongue ring would be dishonoring my friend’s lives that have been lost, and the torture and threats that they have gone through because they stood up for the truth also. This was the biggest factor in my decision. Like I said, there is a lot that you don’t know about, and shouldn’t have to know about. The arrangement to ask for a tongue ring, and not just a hug or a movie, I consider direct child abuse to you by those in authority because I am forced to talk about this with you now instead of in a therapy situation.
This piercing is a felony in the State of California. I have to agree with the law because to make a decision at your age that is permanent and disfiguring, you may regret when you go through some known mental changes that will happen with you in the next couple of years. You are you now, but two years from now, you may be very different. I do not want to be a part of your possible regrets in the future.
I believe that you are mentally ill, and to make such a decision while I believe that you are mentally ill, I cannot abide by and say yes.
In conclusion, I have more reasons on the no side of my list than I do on the yes side of my list, and I had to go with a rational thought out decision. I could not go only with my intense desire and want to give you what you want, so my dear child would want to come home, and I could hold you in my arms again. If I had said yes, and you did come home, our relationship would have been the same. I am looking for change in our relationship. Only honesty and truth can abide in a real relationship. It is a court order that I listen to your allegations that I know for a fact are fabricated. Don’t you think that it is your turn to listen to the feelings of your mother, and the facts of what your lies, deceit, and manipulations have put me through? To not have you tell the truth about your actions, I believe is child abuse. It is not making you a viable member of Society, and for me, I remember your values that were sometimes better than my own. Where did those values go when this is continued? I believe that it allows people to be perpetrated against. This means I love you for you. What other parents would want their child home after what you and others have done? I will not hold it against you, and I really do want to drop the past, but you will have to know that the events that have taken place in our lives will forever be engraved in my heart. I just want you home, and I just want to have some good times together Kristy. You asking me to get your tongue pierced under these circumstances is as ridiculous as my expecting you to tell the truth at this moment because of some of the factors I listed above in my no answers.
Now that the nasty part is over, here are some of my goals in my own life, and things that are going on with me.
I have a job as a reporter, and I am excited.
I have several close friends that are true friends. I can’t ever be thankful enough for them being in my life.
I now have documentation about my physical health, and the help I will receive because of that. That is the greatest event.
I have plans in the future of writing, and art that have now come into the realm of not just a dream. I am so looking forward to creating, and of you being a part of that.
I enjoy every moment that I look at dovey wovey, and the reasons you gave her to me, and smile.
Lets plan to go to a movie, or just get a hug from each other like we planned before. Let me know. I love you dearly with all of my heart.
Love, Mom
posted by WE_THE_PEOPLE | 12:40 PM
|
0 comments
